The Yin Yang of Home

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“I can’t go back home.”

I hear this a lot in my work because in addiction, many of us cannot go back to what was once our home. The environment and/or the people there are just not going to support our sobriety. This truth presents one of the most painful challenges anyone can face.

Now what?  Where do you go?

To answer these questions, I’ll introduce Alchemist Recovery’s Yin Yang concept of Home.


Home with a capital “H”

Alchemist Recovery enlarges the idea of home from the place where you live and the people you live with, to include all of the archetypal, symbolic and even mythical concepts of Home.

This kind of Home has the Power to singlehandedly disrupt your entire Cycle of Addiction.  

One way it does this is by providing the kind of safety that:

  • supports your originality

  • recognizes your authenticity

  • and has you feeling seen, heard and known.

How do you get these things?  A first step is to understand the Yin Yang of Home. 

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The Yin Yang of Home

Yang, He, the masculine, provides this kind of safety through protection of Home from outside forces.  He builds the walls of the house, raises the fences around the field and guards the door. He protects by not allowing the bad things in.

These are necessary requirements for Home but they are also the obvious ones.  Simply put in addiction terminology, don’t invite anyone into your new Home that uses or brings you down. If they don’t support you, they don’t come in. Period.

All of this is different than the Yin Home of Her and the feminine.  She provides safety for the feelings inside, so that they are invited to come out.

This is the safety of atmosphere, which encourages the expression of Heartfelt thoughts, beliefs, feelings and desires. 

This is the safety of intimacy, which fosters understanding and creates a delicious stew of interesting conversation.  

This is the safety of Connection, which allows you to be seen, heard and known.



To be Seen, Heard and Known

Building this Yin Home is often more elusive and a bit more complicated that the Yang. To begin, explore the answers to these questions:

Where do you get and receive respect? 

Where is your authenticity recognized?

Where is your originality supported?

Where do you feel most seen?

Where do you feel most heard?

Where do your feel the most known?

These places, and with these people, are where you will discover the foundations to your new Home.

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You need both Yin and Yang, Him and Her, forms of safety to build your new Home in sobriety. And while this is true, I’m told so often by clients that the Yin gifts of Her have been, and remain, so difficult to find.

The Alchemist Recovery Lessons in Earth of the Chinese 5 Element System, go step by step in exploring where, how and with who to build Home. From recognizing the Divine Feminine (Lesson 32) to exploring modern meanings of Communion (Lesson 33) to exploring various forms of Nurturance (Lesson 35), we move towards finding and creating The Perfect Home (Lesson 34).



If you've got questions about Home or any other topic in sobriety, feel free to leave a comment below or contact me here:

Email me here

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With Blessings,

Randy Lyons