My Story


July 17th, 1994 is a dividing line in my life.

That’s my sober date. It was exactly at this point, that I had had enough. I wish I could tell people on the other side of that line, the ones still using their drug of choice and who are waiting for a sign, that there was some pivotal, cloud-parting event of personal awakening ushered in with an angel’s trumpet…but no, it came as a quiet, cold, bone-knowing, solitary moment that I had just had enough.

Mama always told me not to look into the eyes of the sun. But mama, that’s where the fun is.

My Story


July 17th, 1994 is a dividing line in my life.

That’s my sober date. It was exactly at this point, that I had had enough. I wish I could tell people on the other side of that line, the ones still using their drug of choice and who are waiting for a sign, that there was some pivotal, cloud-parting event of personal awakening ushered in with an angel’s trumpet…but no, it came as a quiet, cold, bone-knowing, solitary moment that I had just had enough.

Mama always told me not to look into the eyes of the sun. But mama, that’s where the fun is.

Rock 'N Bottom


The new path of sobriety was a complete U-turn from what had driven my previous incarnation.

I was a born & raised New Yorker relocated in Hollywood, California, where I lived hand-to-mouth in the world of big hair, loud guitar, rock ’n roll of the 1980’s.

This provided the perfect setting for me to perform the last 1/2 of my 17 years worth of “personal field research” in the arena of addictions.

It also gave me invaluable “hands on experience” that I couldn’t imagine getting any other way.

The Voice Of More


Sure, there are lots of memories of youthful exuberance with plenty of downright fun - but they are mixed together with the inevitable, devastating losses that came at the hands of my addiction.

Looking back, there are any number of moments that could easily have become “my rock bottom” turning point, but for some reason, the Voice of More was always louder than my:

  • Annihilating automobile wreckages
  • Best mates’ overdoses
  • Psychotic break
  • Regular visitations of violence and law enforcement
  • Emergency room admittances
  • Friends’ deaths by misadventure
  • Broken relationships, promises, hearts and bones
  • Etc…

The fact remains:
I really was no different than the cliche:

 “Addiction ends in jail, the hospital or the morgue.”

Period. 

Rock 'N Bottom


The new path of sobriety was a complete U-turn from what had driven my previous incarnation.

I was a born & raised New Yorker relocated in Hollywood, California, where I lived hand-to-mouth in the world of big hair, loud guitar, rock ’n roll of the 1980’s.

This provided the perfect setting for me to perform the last 1/2 of my 17 years worth of “personal field research” in the arena of addictions.

It also gave me invaluable “hands on experience” that I couldn’t imagine getting any other way.

The Voice Of More


Sure, there are lots of memories of youthful exuberance with plenty of downright fun - but they are mixed together with the inevitable, devastating losses that came at the hands of my addiction.

Looking back, there are any number of moments that could easily have become “my rock bottom” turning point, but for some reason, the Voice of More was always louder than my:

  • Annihilating automobile wreckages
  • Best mates’ overdoses
  • Psychotic break
  • Regular visitations of violence and law enforcement
  • Emergency room admittances
  • Friends’ deaths by misadventure
  • Broken relationships, promises, hearts and bones
  • Etc…

The fact remains:
I really was no different than the cliche:

 “Addiction ends in jail, the hospital or the morgue.”

Period. 

sober: now what?


So when I had the moment of having had enough and I got sober - no, really, that last time when I meant it - I knew that I had to get rid of all of those slippery people, places and things linked to my using. Which meant just about everything & everyone!

I get it. This is an awful, lonely realization.

And on top of that, I had to dismantle the identity I had constructed over the course of more than 15 years, along with its vision of the future that I wholly believed would come about.

Getting sober meant letting this all go - and this is a kind of Death.

Because I could not separate playing music, from getting high, from my dreams, from my friends, from the inertia and the direction (I thought) my life was successfully rolling towards, I had to flush the whole kit & caboodle out of my life.

From that shedding of the old, came the possibility for the new. I had no idea what this was going to be…but I can say, unequivocally:

There was one thing different about this time…I was committed.

sober: now what?


So when I had the moment of having had enough and I got sober - no, really, that last time when I meant it - I knew that I had to get rid of all of those slippery people, places and things linked to my using. Which meant just about everything & everyone!

I get it. This is an awful, lonely realization.

And on top of that, I had to dismantle the identity I had constructed over the course of more than 15 years, along with its vision of the future that I wholly believed would come about.

Getting sober meant letting this all go - and this is a kind of Death.

Because I could not separate playing music, from getting high, from my dreams, from my friends, from the inertia and the direction (I thought) my life was successfully rolling towards, I had to flush the whole kit & caboodle out of my life.

From that shedding of the old, came the possibility for the new. I had no idea what this was going to be…but I can say, unequivocally:

There was one thing different about this time…I was committed.

Until one is committed,
there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back,
always ineffectiveness.

Concerning acts of creation
there is one elementary truth
the ignorance of which kills countless ideas
and splendid plans:
That the moment one definitely commits oneself
then Providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help one
that would never otherwise have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision,
raising in one’s favor all manner
of unforeseen incidents and meetings
and material assistance,
which no person could have dreamt
would come their way.

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has Genius, Power and Magic in it.
Begin it now.


- Goethe -

Until one is committed,
there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back,
always ineffectiveness.

Concerning acts of creation
there is one elementary truth
the ignorance of which kills countless ideas
and splendid plans:
That the moment one definitely commits oneself
then Providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help one
that would never otherwise have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision,
raising in one’s favor all manner
of unforeseen incidents and meetings
and material assistance,
which no person could have dreamt
would come their way.

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has Genius, Power and Magic in it.
Begin it now.


- Goethe -

the next step


I leaned into what little I still had left and was holding me up. ( And I asked for help 😉

For me, it was the ancient practices of Chinese Medicine and the experiential shamanism that had kept me alive throughout the course of my active addiction. And when I got sober, they were really all I had left to believe in.

So I leaned into them.

They worked for me, so I knew they worked but…there wasn’t exactly “meetings” of these types on every corner. Beyond that, “experts” in those fields couldn’t give me a straight answer as to how and why it had specifically worked for addiction.

So, it was up to me to answer the question…

How does holistic medicine get & keep someone clean & sober?

The last 2 decades on this side of that dividing line have been spent searching for direct answers to that exact question. And because no one has been able to do that for me, I’ve been forced to find it on my own by exploring what I love. My search has given me the privilege of studying with some of the most revered leaders in the fields of Traditional Chinese Medicine, shamanism, martial arts, cranio-sacral therapy, movement therapy, psychology, mythology, poetry and writing.

From this, I have done my best to explain it through a clear, concise model of holistic treatment that I call Alchemist Recovery. 

As a result of this work, I have been blessed in the form of:

  • Treating thousands of people from all walks of life and in all stages of addiction
  • Serving on staff at hospitals, medical clinics and addiction treatment centers
  • A successful private practice
  • Writing 4 original books & various articles in national publications
  • Teaching my original material to professionals all across North America and beyond

The lessons I’ve learned decades ago, and have shared with many along the way, not only still hold true for me today but also that they apply to just about everything else in life.

How deep do I want to peel this onion? I know this is a life-long practice that never ends. But if there is one secret, it’s this: all of the mechanics of the Cycle remain the same; it’s just that now, I’m no longer planting seeds of addiction but rather am purposefully and with intention, sowing the seeds of connection. I hope to see you along the way as they sprout, grow and blossom. 

Ogres are like onions.

As Shrek said to Donkey, “Ogres are like onions. They have layers.”

The same is true for this sobriety thing.

With Blessings,

Randy

the next step


I leaned into what little I still had left and was holding me up. ( And I asked for help 😉

For me, it was the ancient practices of Chinese Medicine and the experiential shamanism that had kept me alive throughout the course of my active addiction. And when I got sober, they were really all I had left to believe in.

So I leaned into them.

They worked for me, so I knew they worked but…there wasn’t exactly “meetings” of these types on every corner. Beyond that, “experts” in those fields couldn’t give me a straight answer as to how and why it had specifically worked for addiction.

So, it was up to me to answer the question…

How does holistic medicine get & keep someone clean & sober?

The last 2 decades on this side of that dividing line have been spent searching for direct answers to that exact question. And because no one has been able to do that for me, I’ve been forced to find it on my own by exploring what I love. My search has given me the privilege of studying with some of the most revered leaders in the fields of Traditional Chinese Medicine, shamanism, martial arts, cranio-sacral therapy, movement therapy, psychology, mythology, poetry and writing.

From this, I have done my best to explain it through a clear, concise model of holistic treatment that I call Alchemist Recovery. 

As a result of this work, I have been blessed in the form of:

  • Treating thousands of people from all walks of life and in all stages of addiction
  • Serving on staff at hospitals, medical clinics and addiction treatment centers
  • A successful private practice
  • Writing 4 original books & various articles in national publications
  • Teaching my original material to professionals all across North America and beyond

The lessons I’ve learned decades ago, and have shared with many along the way, not only still hold true for me today but also that they apply to just about everything else in life.

How deep do I want to peel this onion? I know this is a life-long practice that never ends. But if there is one secret, it’s this: all of the mechanics of the Cycle remain the same; it’s just that now, I’m no longer planting seeds of addiction but rather am purposefully and with intention, sowing the seeds of connection. I hope to see you along the way as they sprout, grow and blossom. 

Ogres are like onions.

As Shrek said to Donkey, “Ogres are like onions. They have layers.”

The same is true for this sobriety thing.

With Blessings,

Randy

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BEFORE you stop.

Are you thinking about quitting once and for all?
Ready? Prep…Quit! will prepare you for success.

You will receive:

  • A series of step-by-step videos that guide you through the 3 steps you need to take.
  • Simple and effective insights from over two decades of practice and experience.
  • Support: Join a community that connects you with others facing these same challenges.

Start Here

Quick tip videos

Learn the 3 Steps you need to take
BEFORE you stop.

Are you thinking about quitting once and for all?
Ready? Prep…Quit! will prepare you for success.

You will receive:

  • A series of step-by-step videos that guide you through the 3 steps you need to take.
  • Simple and effective insights from over two decades of practice and experience.
  • Support: Join a community that connects you with others facing these same challenges.