August 25, 2018

The Yin Yang of Home

“I CAN’T GO BACK HOME.”

I hear this a lot in my work because in addiction, many of us cannot go back to what was once our home. The environment and/or the people there are just not going to support our sobriety. This truth presents one of the most painful challenges anyone can face.

Now what? Where do you go?

To answer these questions, I’ll introduce Alchemist Recovery’s Yin Yang concept of Home.


HOME WITH A CAPITAL “H”
Alchemist Recovery enlarges the idea of home from the place where you live and the people you live with, to include all of the archetypal, symbolic and even mythical concepts of Home.

This kind of Home has the Power to singlehandedly disrupt your entire Cycle of Addiction.

One way it does this is by providing the kind of safety that:

  • Supports your originality
  • Recognizes your authenticity
  • Has you feeling seen, heard, and known.
  • How do you get these things? A first step is to understand the Yin Yang of Home.

THE YIN YANG OF HOME
Yang, He, the masculine, provides this kind of safety through protection of Home from outside forces. He builds the walls of the house, raises the fences around the field and guards the door. He protects by not allowing the bad things in.

These are necessary requirements for Home but they are also the obvious ones. Simply put in addiction terminology, don’t invite anyone into your new Home that uses or brings you down. If they don’t support you, they don’t come in. Period.

All of this is different than the Yin Home of Her and the feminine. She provides safety for the feelings inside, so that they are invited to come out.

This is the safety of atmosphere, which encourages the expression of Heartfelt thoughts, beliefs, feelings and desires.

This is the safety of intimacy, which fosters understanding and creates a delicious stew of interesting conversation.

This is the safety of Connection, which allows you to be seen, heard and known.


TO BE SEEN, HEARD AND KNOWN
Building this Yin Home is often more elusive and a bit more complicated that the Yang. To begin, explore the answers to these questions:

  • Where do you get and receive respect?
  • Where is your authenticity recognized?
  • Where is your originality supported?
  • Where do you feel most seen?
  • Where do you feel most heard?
  • Where do your feel the most known?

These places, and with these people, are where you will discover the foundations to your new Home.


SUMMARY
You need both Yin and Yang, Him and Her, forms of safety to build your new Home in sobriety. And while this is true, I’m told so often by clients that the Yin gifts of Her have been, and remain, so difficult to find.

Randal Lyons helps people struggling with addiction who want long term, holistic care. He uses his own experience in recovery combined with his training as a Doctor of Oriental Medicine through his program, Alchemist Recovery.

If you've got questions about this or any other topic in sobriety, please contact me.


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